TAKING IT ON THE CHIN
7/14/00. 3:32am RDT. Bed.

... so I drove around for an hour, talking out loud, nearly shouting at times, even punching myself once or twice I think, just letting it all soak into my skin and my hair and my beard, wallowing in my own stupidity, then found my way back home.

I stared into the mirror for a while, thinking, well, it's either the head or the chin, to make this stick I'm shaving SOMETHING. The beard I've had for 12 years lost the coin toss.

Turns out it felt a lot like the first time I shaved my head, but I traded a smaller physical change with a larger psychological one.

I'm not repeating myself. I was an idiot up till today, and the same will be true tomorrow. Every day I learn enough to feel like I was a jackass the day before.

I know lots of things about lots of things, and I care about every person I've met on this dirtbag of a planet. I hate lots of things, but I am not one of them.

There is no compelling reason for me to be miserable. So I refuse to be miserable anymore.

I am not having a midlife crisis.

I am having a midcrisis life.

And I had completely forgotten I have a cleft in my chin.