ROUGH WEEKEND                                   © 2008 Acoustic Ross

i went out drinking last saturday night in the same bar i always visit
my friend tony's band was putting on a show, i didn't wanna miss it
i got kinda drunk after a couple hours, so i figured i should leave
but when i got to the back, i nearly dropped in my tracks
i saw something made me wanna heave

it was the manager of a boy band i used to be in
i should have given him a kick in the gut
we were bigger than backstreet when he threw my ass out
now i'm bigger than jabba the hutt

i stumbled back to my car, parked behind the bar, started reaching for my keys
i dropped them in the snow, started searching high and low, and i got down on my knees
i saw shiny black boots in front of my face, it was officer fang
he said 
  'what are you doing you slobbering drunk?' 
i said 
  'nothing!'

he kicked me in the teeth, took away my keys, and told me i could sleep in jail
but when he turned his back i made my attack
i took off down a snowy trail

   i had a rough weekend
   i had a rough weekend
   i had a rough weekend once again.

i went back to my place, splashed some water on my face, and i threw up 5 or 6 times
i slept the whole next day till my girl stopped by
and we drank ourselves some red wine (hair of the dog)
she got loosened up and told me
  'don't get mad, but i think i'm in trouble'
i said
  'there's just one thing, then, that we oughta do, is get married on the double'
and i thought to myself
  'what else could happen to make my weekend rougher?'
my girl answered that one, she said
  'just hold on, cause i've got another lover'

   i had a rough weekend
   i had a rough weekend
   i had a rough weekend once again.

well i took off running for my car - which i forgot, it wasn't there
(it was still back at the bar in the first verse)
i got into hers, it's a little blue thunderbird, and i headed straight for nowhere
i was moving pretty quickly when the lines got squiggly and i couldn't see where to go
and the snow didn't help cause it just wouldn't melt and i skidded right off the road
i crashed into a ditch, shouted son of a gun, i thought it was the end
but the story ain't over till the fat guy sings about his rough weekend.

   i had a rough weekend
   i had a rough weekend
   i had a rough weekend once again.